What to Make For Dinner

May 22, 2021

What. To. Make. For. Dinner.

There is nothing in my life that could have prepared me for the amount of time I have spent thinking about dinner. Only to decide, after thinking about it all day, that I should make something else. Because they don’t like the Ina Garten turkey meatloaf, and my oldest doesn’t do tacos with ground turkey, only burritos with chicken, and no ones seems to like when I add the ground turkey to the Rao’s sauce. So I make chicken, and salad, with rice or pasta, again. I make chicken a lot they tell me. So I disguise the chicken in teriyaki, pulled like pulled pork on potato rolls, breaded, nuggets (a lot) BBQ or marinated. But all chicken. All the time. Except on Fridays during Lent.

If they were to do an analysis, a break down of time by hours and minutes of my mental capacity used for thinking about dinner it would explain why I go upstairs and forget what I went up there for… and then go downstairs. And then remember and go upstairs this time determined not to forget. It would explain why we arrived at the orthodontist a week early (but at the correct time) for an appointment, or why I always forget how old I am or why I need so many lists and sticky notes, calendars, and to set alarms for not only the morning but for the things I need to remember throughout the day when I need to remember.

It’s because of dinner. My life is regulated by dinner.

They tell me I don’t buy the good food. Which is really the bad food. Doritos, Cheez-its, and Fritos and things like soda you know so our teeth can decay and our insides rot – we have all watched the videos of soda on the paint of a car. Or the science experiment with the tooth decaying in a glass with filled with soda. So I buy the bad good food because by nature want everyone happy – you good? everyone good? how are you doing? Me taking mini happiness pulses all day. I buy baked organic Doritos, and organic cheese doodles, and more and more these days with teens I am buying more ‘good’ food which hurts a little.

Years ago before I had children, I used to think that I would raise them on exotic cuisine and expand their palette to eat adult like food as little toddlers and babies. I pictured 2 year old’s eating foie gras and tuna tartare so by the time they were children, and later young adults they would eat all cuisine. And like many things I thought about raising children – before I actually had children – these ideas were completely out of touch with reality.

Parenting is the most humbling job in the world. Having baby food picked up and flung across the room or at your shirt, or at your face is character building. Trying to coax two and three year olds to eat peas is an act of self mortification. And if you are truly strong and have nerves of steel perhaps you will live to out will a willful toddler and because you have reason and self preservation skills may think – I will never do that again. I remember once before a library class I had a stand off with my oldest who refused to wear snow pants because she didn’t wear pants. Ever. No pants. But these were snow pants and there was 2 feet of snow outside. And we had been inside for days with snow storm upon snow storm and I was desperate for seeing other human beings and Ms Alina and her songs at the Cos Cob Library. I tried to frame it up – they aren’t really pants you see – it’s like a coat for your legs! That’s all – they are leg coats! Because you will be covered in snow you see… and it’s wet and cold and then for an hour until we are home your pink tights and dress are wet and cold… I begged, I pleaded, I think I cried, and the scars from that experience can still be felt to this day. For the record she wore the snow pants but it almost broke me.

Or try having three teenagers in the house. If you think you are cool, or smart, or have it all together, nothing my friend nothing will humble you or ground you like like teenagers. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

And so at the red light… what should I make for dinner? Scrolling through Whole Foods Prime Now… what should I make for dinner? Standing at the kitchen sink – air bubble above my head reading dinner… Picking up at a practice – still don’t know what to make for dinner… so I make chicken, or throw Bell and Evans in the air fryer, a salad, some rice on the side because I haven’t made it yet this week, and they don’t like the turkey meatloaf and I didn’t defrost the ground beef….

Bon Appetit my friends, circle your crew around you, for there is no greater gift than the family dinner, decisions and all.