The Funniest Story I Ever Did Hear….

February 6, 2013

Two things you need to know about the following story:

1) I have reduced a grown, Wall Street-type man to tears upon telling it. (I am inordinately proud of this achievement.)

2) It is TRUE! It happened more than 20 years ago at Timber Ridge Ski Area and Bronson Hospital, both in Kalamazoo, Michigan, near to where I grew up. We were close friends with the ER doctor who was on call and witnessed the following. (And don’t worry – everyone ends up fine.)

This is Timber Ridge, the scene.

Now settle in for a good laugh…

A 30-something woman – we’ll call her Jane – who had never skied before went to her local ski hill and signed up for a group lesson. After she had rented skis, met her group instructor, put on her boots, stepped into her skis and boarded the chair lift for the top of the hill, she realized she had to go to the bathroom.

Really Bad. Like Cross-Your-Legs-and-Squeeze Bad.

When she explained her predicament to her instructor, he shrugged his shoulders and pointed to the woods, explaining that she didn’t have enough time to get to the bottom, take off all her gear, go and rejoin the group. Because he was in his 20’s and didn’t think to warn her about skis, and hillside, and gravity, you can picture what’s coming.

As soon as Jane pulled down her pants and squatted, her legs flew out from under her. Off she went down the hill with her pants around her ankles.

Poor Jane ends up in the ER with a very red bottom.

The nurses tend to her, pull the curtain around her for privacy and let her rest.

Very soon after, a guy is moved into the same ER room. Staring at a very broken leg, the nurse asks him what happened.

The guy responds, “You won’t believe it. I was skiing at Timber Ridge with my buddies. I was on the chairlift going up and all of a sudden I see this woman flying down the mountain with her hoo-ha showing. I try to reach forward to my buddy in the next chair so he could see, and I fell off and broke my leg.”

The same room. The nurses beat out of there fast. Can you imagine??

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Category: Random and Fun

6 Comments »

Sarah
on February 6, 2013 7:04 am
Thanks for the good laugh…such a great way to start a wednesday am!
Julie
on February 6, 2013 10:41 am
Oh my gosh!!!!!! oh so funny – almost had to laugh out loud – but I’m at work with an important meeting going on next to me.
Good thing Jane wasn’t somewhere with really big hills/mountains. Lower Michigan really only has small bumps.
Marla
on February 6, 2013 11:26 am
That ER Doctor had a bunch of great stories that you couldn’t tell on “The Good Stuff Guide”!
Whitney
on February 6, 2013 8:22 pm
So funny. That one just never gets old…
Jeff
on February 7, 2013 10:09 am
Confirming this is actually true!!
Mrs.Kaz
on September 5, 2019 6:47 pm
Hi Mary Kate.
I often read your stories and enjoy them so much! Your very talented can bring humor as well as tears to me every time I start reading them.
I like all of them but this one is so funny! We had a family ski trip once and Danny never got off the Bunny Hill. Finally someone made him try the ski lift and he somehow was hanging off and onto the chair as it went up. We can’t even discuss it without crying laughing.
He was a sport guy-meanwell MartIn was a natural at it.
He never went again.
Tell your mom hello. Love MB