Portrait of a Princess…

June 13, 2012

Written by Marykate Wurster, mom of 3, from Riverside, CT

Photo by mia3mom

You are the little girl in the Cinderella costume. It is not Halloween. You are not going to a costume party. It’s a Tuesday and the forecast calls for rain. You have a band aid on your elbow and there is a flower in your hair. It is a dandelion. You wear it like a rose, or a peony or an orchid.

There is a smudge of blue paint on your right cheek. You are wearing your brother’s old K Swiss sneakers, which look like white geriatric shoes peeking out from under folds of blue tulle and glitter. Your hair is braided.

You carry a small purse in your left hand. And in your right is your mother’s. She is smiling. She doesn’t mind the looks from the mothers, with their daughters in dainty bows, and perfectly coiffed hair, their dresses smocked and not a stain or wrinkle on them.

And then someone will pass and remark, “What a beautiful princess!” Your face erupts like the sun’s rays. For this, it is all worth it.

I let my kids dress themselves but I do manage the intake of clothing to have some say. Most days I embrace it; they love it and feel so good about what they wear. My girls have always had strong opinions on clothes and their vision, even at 2 years of age, my goodness! I hold on to “my days” – events, holidays and celebrations. Otherwise, I have decided to let them express themselves.

How about you? Do your children want to dress themselves?

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Category: Activities, For Kids

11 Comments »

Celeste Won
on June 13, 2012 7:09 am
Oh, yes I certainly let my little girl dress herself! I’ll never forget one morning when she was just one yr old and I hurriedly dressed her in one of her brother’s blue fleece pants and a sweatshirt. She cooperated and then looked down at herself and immediately burst into tears. From then on, she learned to dress herself-in dresses or skirts for the next 4 yrs. Now 6, she does where blue and pants, but never a sweatshirt!
Marykate Wurster
on June 13, 2012 10:32 am
I love it!! Maggie wouldnt wear pants for years too. I would joke that she was like her namesake, her great grandmother, who never wore pants, only skirts and dresses.
Brian Curran
on June 13, 2012 10:43 am
Well written, Mary Kate. I have two girls, 4 and (almost) 2, and I can only hope that it stays this fun. Molly (4) wears princess dresses or her Wonder Woman costume to Dunkin Donuts or the post office without a hint that it is cute. Best errand companion in the world.
RLR
on June 13, 2012 12:04 pm
My daughter certainly has her own opinions and style! Things don’t always match, but I’m learning to live with that (I’m so type A and she is not!). I do guide her choices when it’s church or a special occasion. I figure the world will eventually criticize – whether in words or in images of “perfection” – and I’d like her to gain confidence in herself and her choices to arm against what I know is to come.
The biggest change in her style lately has been moving from dresses to shorts/skorts. She’s worried about her underthings showing. I’m teaching her how to sit so that doesn’t happen, of course, but there was apparently a slip one day at school, so now she suddenly doesn’t like dresses. I’m glad she has some awareness, but sad that it suddenly – and so completely – turned her from what used to be her favorite thing to wear as soon as the weather warmed up.
Marykate Wurster
on June 13, 2012 12:19 pm
I couldnt agree more – when I see how good they feel about what they are choosing to wear, I feel like how could I say no. And they know my “policies” with church, and events, and weather. So generally it works. There is a part of me that would love to put together their outfits the way I envision them but they too have a vision and I just try to honor that!
I hear you on skirts and dresses. I wonder if you can buy bloomer type shorts? A gap jean skirt we had came with shorts (almost like boxers) to go under it. I wonder if you can find something like that on line. My daughter went through sometime similiar – esp at school on the playground equipement and she would wear the bloomers with almost all dresses. Just a thought! Thanks for commenting!
Marykate Wurster
on June 13, 2012 12:45 pm
Brian – just saw your comments! Love when I see those kids – a little batman walking through the supermarket with his mom or Belle at the playground. Adorable!!
Julie R.
on June 14, 2012 6:53 am
My son went to a Montessori pre-school and they were all about the kids picking out what to where. They would continuously remind us that if our kid showed up in plaid and stripes, they KNOW that it wasn’t us that picked out the outfit.
What they wore to school was not a reflection upon us and our “quality” of parenting.
The kids were encouraged to put their own shoes on, it didn’t matter that they were on the wrong feet, it was to just honor their accomplishment. If they got it wrong, not the end of the world, don’t correct them. (Unless they were going on a 10-mile hike =) They will eventually figure it out correctly.
Also if they don’t get ready in time in the morning, send them to school in their pjs. Do that once or twice and have their classmates comment on their pjs and you can be sure that they will get ready in the future.
Now my son is a tween and I can no longer pick out his clothes for him. (my sense of style is of course “gone”) It is nice to reflect back on the lesson that what he wears is NOT a reflection of the quality of my parenting. =)
Julie R.
on June 14, 2012 6:53 am
*wear
Marykate Wurster
on June 14, 2012 5:48 pm
Thanks Julie for your comments. The teachers do love it. Along that same line, I think when you let your kids dress themselves it says that you are a parent who is secure with who you are and you value your children’s voice.Some kids really dont care – which makes it so much easier. My daughters do and so I pick my battles. My older daughter just turned 8 and there is some crazy stuff out there. I think because we always collaborated on dress when she was much younger she is completely fine with the limits I set and asks me often – Mom does this go, do you like this etc. Somehow me letting her wear outfits I would truly cringe at when she was 4 has led us here. Who knew!
Anne Schenendorf
on June 18, 2012 1:10 pm
Lol, I looove it. I am that person on the street commenting on the beautiful princess, or the plaid and stripes combo, or my ALL TIME FAVORITE years ago, a little guy at our local diner, with no irony at all, sitting down to breakfast clad in a batman costume topped with a knight chest armor and a sword in his hand. It made my day. To this day it still makes me laugh to think about. That child is sure of who they are and what they like. All Can hope is I will have a camera ready when these moments come. For the moment our 19 month old guys could care less. They like cozy clothes after a busy day or a jaunt in the pool. Their chest do puff out when you tell them they are handsome like Daddy or jump for joy when I choose an Elmo or Thomas t-shirt but thats about it. As a teacher I totally agree that letting them choose fosters confidence and independance- and allows us old people a chance to chuckle- after complimenting them on their ensemble of course. 🙂
Marykate Wurster
on June 18, 2012 4:00 pm
So funny Anne – love that you remember that child! For me the mismatched clothes are much funnier when it isnt me. But I just roll with it. At the point it is only Amanda I have to contend with on that – Ronald doesnt mind me dressing him and Maggie shockingly likes my opinion now!