Non Verbal Communication

May 14, 2022

My mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. So I learned to rely on hand motions. Universal language hand motions. No, not the hand motion you are thinking. She didn’t raise me like that. I mean like when you throw your hands up. In unison. And it communicates everything. It’s the universal hand motion and I am pattoning it right here, right now, in this post and you all have a front row seat.

Throw up the hands.

Now to break down and how it works: face your hands palm up, now straighten your arms along your side with the palms facing out like a straight jacket but more loose, yes like that. And then imagine you are on the sidelines of a close soccer game, and the ref doesn’t call off sides. The other team scores to give them the edge and there are 2 minutes left, in a championship game. Now because parent behavior has strict adherence to guidelines and you signed a 17 page contract (truth) with a notary (it’s like a mortgage but for youth soccer) you need to adhere to the strict protocols in place. This is where the hands come in.

You don’t say anything and just throw up the hands. In unison they are raised. Quickly, dramatically, you shake your head and the face follows. You all know the ‘bad call’ face. And it is a very powerful message you are sending. Everyone knows. Maybe you even walk away and come back like a figurative take a lap. If sitting on bleachers or in the stands and you feel emboldened, you can stand and throw up the hands, maybe look around you with a ‘can you believe that call’ face. If you do this, do it quickly. You are up with the hands then down. I feel like coupling standing with the hands go up is another level I am not comfortable with, but it’s an available option.

There is no question what you are communicating by your behavior. And yet here is the genius you: said nothing. Mom is happy and you are following the soccer parent code of ethics guidelines.

Now here is the secret. Lean in. You can’t use it all the time. It will lose it’s command, it’s strength. It’s domineering power. You need to use it sparingly only when absolutely necessary like state cup games, championships, overtime, or sudden death. Restraint is the mighty superpower of the hands go up. So when they do it’s a stand, it’s a statement, you are making a bold declaration.

The universal language of youth athletics. I now shared the secret sauce with you. Use it wisely, use it with great discipline and restraint and only as needed. Your mother will thank me.

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