Back to Somewhere

August 28, 2018

“Mom!” my daughter said incredulously, “how did you find that so fast?” They were on notebooks. I had a cart with protractor, ruler, glue sticks, hard to find $2700 calculator, hand sanitizer and folders. And we were in the store for 45 seconds.

It’s because I have been doing this for years I said! And like any talent through sweat, grit, and determination finally feel like I can ease through back to school shopping. It’s like building muscles I say with persistence and hard work, a little discipline – you get better August by August. Followed by a deserved eye roll.

I could work at Staples. Or be outsourced to take parents and children walking through with lists, looking down, looking up, picking up, looking at a list putting down, and then aimlessly walking through the store with a dazed look. Like shock. Like despair. I know because I have been that mom. 1 of 2 inch green binder. 2 of 1 inch white binder. But they only have one white binder left. I once went to 3 stores for a 1 inch green binder. 3. In late August. Which is worse than the supermarket when the weather forecast is calling for a snow storm. Empty shelves and empty aisles. Me desperate for the requirements for 5th grade math.

Now I print the lists, hand them to my kids and they are off to the races. And I facilitate and guide – aisle 3 top left. Graph paper? What kind? The loose paper? In the back of the store by the notebooks. Here let me show you. Tissues? I have 7 boxes at home, picked up at the Acme this week.

Now I know to have back ups because they will say you only need 3 packs of index cards. But we all know you will need 8. Per kid.

My youngest’s school bag has been packed for 2 weeks. And she gives the grand tour to friends and family who come by… Here are tissues and my pencil case, and in this pocket my binders, here is where I keep my calculator. My son’s supplies have been sitting in the Staples bag for 2 weeks. There is a week of summer left, time must be strategically prioritized.

But I have preseasons and 3987897689 forms to fill out. I promise we go to the Doctors on a regular basis and the dentist every 6 months. I limit screen time and make them do summer workbooks which I really think I should get extra credit for. At back to school night they should announce … to all the parents who had their children do summer workbooks please stand. Thank you, thank you I would say, it was nothing (it actually was a painful and exhausting battle every single day) thank you as I wave modestly …

But I watched the moon rise over Cape May Point last night and the lighthouse beam pulsed across the starlit sky like a heartbeat. Earlier in the day my children played in the sand and waves, and we ate sandy sandwiches and cookies on a blanket cocooned under a blue umbrella. It’s the last sip of summer, school and fall is calling. And I am never ready for it. Even when I can check every box. I am never ready because who can say good bye to all that.