Fly

September 14, 2023

All along you know – they go from preschool to elementary school, and then middle and high school but somehow you forget that at the end of it all, they leave.

I forgot, or pushed it away, or denied it, or didn’t want to think about how I will pack up her things and we get in the car and drive to college where I will drop her off. Somehow I forgot that saying good bye is part of the deal.

I am not sure how I will manage the empty bedroom miraculously tidy for a teenager, or the unoccupied seat at the dinner table, the empty spot in the car, not hearing her soft voice, and hear her chiding with her brother and sister, her grace, her poise, presence. She is my peace child, born wise and sage and full of grace. That peace beats in the heart of this home. I scarcely know how I will manage without it.

This child, this beautiful child that I longed for, and prayed for, who has grown to a beautiful young woman and at times I pause in awe that she is mine, and have no other explanation than the grace of God.

I cried at preschool graduation and kindergarten to follow, and every moving up ceremony since then… and I suppose this is why it takes 18 years to prepare for this – the asks keep getting bigger.

This is life isn’t it, the journey of a mother, love indescribable, and in amazement you watch these creatures grow wings more beautiful and bold than you could ever imagine. And though you want to whisper stay, just a bit longer stay, you open that magnificent door to great unknown and declare fly, beautiful child, fly.

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