Elf on the Oh My

December 10, 2014

Written by Marykate O’Malley, mother of three wonderful children, Gladwyne PA

A repost, because this one makes me laugh, in a stress release way. Merry merry to you and yours!

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Maybe I am a glutton for punishment, maybe I have a hard time saying no, maybe I take on a lot – ‘wanting to do it all’ kind of gal. Or maybe my kids ask every November when Jack and Sally are going to arrive from the North Pole to visit until Christmas Eve when they magically fly back to Santa’s workshop leaving trails of happy surprises and clever locations behind in three young sweet minds. Sigh.

I have a love hate relationship with Elf on the Shelf. Passive aggressive you could say. I love how they are nostalgic looking, button eyes and felt caps, something my grandparents would have in their Dutch colonial on Elmwood Avenue. I love them because my children listen more to “you know Jack and Sally are in the next room” than me telling them to stop / start / continue doing something.

I struggle with them because of the pressure – to find a new spot at night when everyone is finally asleep and there are household chores and to do lists and the Hallmark channel is playing another Christmas movie about a lost letter and Christmas love, and reunions, but the elves need to move. So I don’t hear the following morning “Jack and Sally didn’t move last night!” And then everyone gathering around like a crime scene with law enforcement, the press, photographers, fingerprints carefully lifted, and household items carted away to find out what really happened – Jack and Sally.didn’t.move.last.night. And the profound pressure to keep up the lie, I mean the magic, that Santa is real. I have a fifth grader who believes. The responsibility is killing me.

And then there are the over achiever mothers, or maybe they have too much time on their hands, or too much help, or maybe they are those people who don’t need sleep, or nourishment, and don’t watch the Hallmark channel’s line up. They are robots. Clever, talented, crafty robots who have their elves dangling from zip lines across the foyer or riding on a hand crafted ski lift up the stairs, or stirring the eggs, and flipping pancakes when the children wake up and rubbing their eyes enter the kitchen in the morning to the sweet smell of bacon, and elves.

And so I move the elves, most nights to a stocking, or the creche, or have then strung from the tree. And most morning, the first thing my children do is look for Jack and Sally. And they don’t seem to notice that they are not staged wrapping presents under the tree, or packing their lunches, or cleverly placed on a loft which can only be accessed by ladder or of course flying. And come December 24th I will miss them too. But only a little.

A friend posted this on the Good Stuff Guide facebook page and I had to share with all of you! For Elf on the Shelf ideas visit http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/genius-elf-on-the-shelf-ideas