My Kids are Going to be Okay

June 26, 2014

written by Cathy Baker, mom of two middle school girls, living life in the Ozarks of Missouri

With summer here my girls are together A LOT more. Which has meant A LOT more arguments. A LOT more yelling. A LOT more of them just being mean to each other. It’s wearing on me. Can’t we just all get along? Please?!

My gut reaction is to yell at them. Tell them to “knock it off.” But I’m trying to be more grown up about it. Trying to remain calm. (insert Deep Breath. Repeat.) I.can.be.diplomatic. Let them work through things. Only intervene when it seems to be going ‘too far’.

I try to remind them to “be the bigger person.” I frequently find myself serenading them with “Let it Go!” I’m a broken record repeating, “Treat others they way you want to be treated.” I attempt reason, “Is this really that big of a deal? really?” Apparently, yes, by the looks I receive in response.

The other morning as I was getting ready in my bathroom, a huge argument broke out over packing lunches for a picnic. It kept escalating. It was totally ridiculous. I then hear my one daughter run off to her room with her sister in close pursuit.

So I get this idea, I’m going to sneak into the hall and video tape their argument and play it back to them so they can see how ridiculous it is! Genius, I know!

So here’s a transcript of what went down…

Scene: My youngest (11) is hiding under her covers. Her sister (13) is sitting on the end of her bed. I’m hiding in the hallway.

The first thing I hear my youngest say is: “because you’re being a big grouchy pants!” (oooh, tough words there.)

To which her sister responds, “I’m sorry. I’m being a big butt. (me thinking: really? I hadn’t noticed!) There was no reason for me to (? something about the lunch boxes, couldn’t quite hear it all). And there was no reason for me to pretend to slam a heavy ice pack on your head. It was really stupid of me. I’m 13 and I was acting like I was 2.” (She may have heard this one from me in the past!)

My youngest is silent. Then I see her crawl out under the covers and go give her sister a big hug and whisper “I love you”. (She’s so forgiving!)

Her sister responds back with “I love you too,” then screams “Hey” at me as I enter the room with the video recorder. (he,he)

It was one of those moments my momma heart needed. A reminder that no matter how much they fight, and they will fight, they are sisters, they are going to be okay.

They are learning valuable life skills about getting along, about forgiveness, and how to handle not getting their way.

It is a scene I will carry with me throughout the summer, because I know all arguments will not end this sweetly, but I’m thankful I was ‘spying’ in the hall when it went down!

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